Thursday, December 6, 2012

10 Students You See in the Library During Finals

1. The student who clearly has had way too much coffee



2. The territorial animal. This student may glare at you as you pass. And it's not just any old glare. It's a "I want to burn your insides, and destroy all the happy thoughts you've ever had... and I also hate puppies" glare. If you look at this student for too long, they may growl at you. They also probably chew on the tables with their pointy little teeth. I've never actually observed this, but I'm 99.99% sure it happens. And 60% of the time, I'm right all the time. #anchorman



3. The mega-super-overstressed student. Sometimes they get lost behind their stack of books, and sometimes they pull out their own hair, or the hair of others around them. I wouldn't recommend sitting next to them... or interacting with them.
You: "Are you oka--"
Them: "DON'T TOUCH ME!!!"



4. The wannabe library hipster. This student just wants to be in the library during finals week because everyone else is. They're not really that stressed out, they don't really have very many finals, they are on facebook 90% of the time they are there, and they take up one more spot in the already packed library. They are just pretending to be stressed out, but they aren't really. I hate these people


5. The student who hasn't seen the outside world in a week... or maybe a month... or a year... or wait... what does the word "outside" mean again?



6. The overnighter. This student carries around their computer, their books, and their toothbrush. They also pay rent to the library. "200 year old books make great pillows!"


7. The statue


5 HOURS LATER



8. The possibly dead student. Either poke them with a stick to see if they're still alive, or keep walking.


9. The rag doll. This person is usually found sprawled out across a desk or chair in an inhuman position that can't possibly be comfortable.



10. The student who doesn't even go here

"Hi there! I'm not really sure where I am, but I just like mingling!"

(Yes, I've seen this. Why you would want to spend time in the library during finals week out of free will, I have no idea)

It is very possibly to be more than one of these at the same time.