I've been in Los Angeles for about 2 months now. Since I've been here, I've been hit on countless times by creepy guys, seen Mark Wahlberg on the red carpet, partied on the beach, been told "No offense, but you look like Gwyneth Paltrow", visited the late Marilyn Monroe, played beach volleyball in 75 degree mid-November weather, and gone to a live taping of Jimmy Kimmel. But none of that compares to what I experienced a few days ago. On Thursday night, it rained... no... sprinkled in LA.
I swear to God, people here lost their shit.
As I'm leaving the parking garage on UCLA's campus, I notice that it's sprinkling out. And by "sprinkling" I mean that kind of rain that hardly justifies using your windshield wipers. This is where the chaos began.
I thought I was the crazy one for not turning on my windshield wipers, but no. I was very wrong. There were at least two other cars around me that had their wipers on full blast.
NOT ONE DROP OF WATER WILL TOUCH THIS WINDSHIELD OR SO HELP ME GOD!
WHAT IS THIS WET STUFF COMING OUT OF THE SKY?!? IS IT DANGEROUS? IT MUST BE DANGEROUS!
HOW DO I USE THESE WIPER THINGS?!?
Dude, these LA drivers were slamming on their brakes just to cross a small trickle of water that crossed the road... and they were only going 30mph to begin with. People were also going 15mph on a STRAIGHT on-ramp to a 65mph freeway. I was worried this would be problematic because it would be hard to merge with the faster cars, but I was wrong again. No one in LA drives fast when it's raining. Rain is like snow here. The speed of the cars on the freeway?
35mph.
Was there traffic?
Nope.
The amount of cars that had their brights on?
Way too many.
I don't know if they thought the brighter lights would help them see through the rain, but at one point it was to the point where I couldn't even tell if it was actually raining anymore. But honestly, you know how I know that people were completely overwhelmed by the small amount of water coming from the sky?
I was driving behind numerous people in the left-most lane on the freeway with their LEFT BLINKER ON.... for miles. Like at least 10 miles.
I'm telling you, it amusingly pathetic. I'm told this regularly happens to drivers during the first rain of the season. I really hope that's true.
In Virginia, when it downpours so hard that you can barely see the car in front of you, it seems like there will always be people pulled over under an overpass waiting for it to lighten up. BUT, there will always be more people still flying down the highway at 80mph.
I miss you, Virginia drivers.
