Our bodies are amazing. But our mind's interaction with our body is even more fascinating to me. Take my skill for example. I have something called blood/injury/injection phobia- specifically needles. Now it's weird because I'm not consciously afraid of needles. I don't go to the doctor scared to get a flu shot. Usually I'm happily chatting with the nurse when I get a shot. My mind is forcing itself to stay calm and act like nothing is happening.
However, my body's reaction is very different because the fear reaction is subconscious and out of my control. I'm always initially fine when I get said shot, or blood taken. But 2 minutes after it's done, my body flips out all on it's own. My heart rate drops, my blood vessels dilate, and all the blood rushes away from my brain causing me to pass out.
This doesn't happen every time though, and I like to think it's because I'm a mentally strong person when it comes to telling myself I'm okay. When I start to feel like I'm going to pass out, my mind kicks into overdrive and screams at my body to stay conscious. Normally this actually works. Just by telling myself "I will NOT pass out", I am able to stay semi-conscious. I say semi-conscious because what normally happens is my vision goes white, but I can still hear whats going on around me in a very low and slow-mo sort of style. It's sounds a lot like Dory trying to speak to whales.
The last time this happened, I was getting a flu shot at CVS and I almost gave my mom a heart attack. After they gave me my shot, I walked to my car because I knew I might pass out soon, and I didn't want to do it in CVS. So I was just sitting in my parked car with the air on and my seat all the way back. I decided that if I called my mom and focused on just having a conversation, I'd be fine. Unfortunately this was not the case. When my mom answered, I was already starting to lose my vision and my ears were ringing (the beginning stages of passing out). I blabbed to my mom "I just got a flu shot, I'm trying not to pass out so keep talking to me, I'm in my car...." but then everything went white, I couldn't see, I couldn't hear, and my body was starting to slump so I dropped my phone.
Now keep in mind, my mom just heard me say I'm in my car and then the klunking noise of my phone dropping. I wasn't able to finish my sentence so she had no idea that I was in my PARKED car just trying to sit back. She thought I had just passed out while driving so she had a mini heart attack before I was able to regain my vision and find my phone. Lesson learned.
I've given up on trying to prevent myself from passing out when I go to the doctors though because normally I go to get blood taken, and that's way more stressful for my body than just a quick shot. My mind doesn't even attempt to stop my body from passing out, and the results are interesting. I always inform the doctor that I will most likely pass out and that it's not a big deal, it happens all the time, yadda yadda yadda.
So today was one of those days. The doctor just finished putting the band-aid on and I told her my head was starting to spin and asked for some water. Our brains are weird little things. The next thing I know, I'm listening to Taylor Swift sing "Shake It Off" on crack.
Everything in my vision is black but my mind is racing and I listening to the words, "Causetheplayersgonnaplayplayplayplayplayandthehatersgonnahatehatehatehatehate.." and... I'M OKAY WITH IT. That was the weirdest thing. I didn't find it odd that all of the sudden everything is sped up and dark and I have no idea what's going on but it's okay. This is cool. I like Taylor Swift. "I'mjustgonnashakeshakeshakeshakeshakeshakeitoffshakeitoff". Maybe she's on crack, but that doesn't change who she is. Is this what drugs are like? My doctor wouldn't like it if I were on drugs. Doctor haha. What a funny word. Wait. Shit. I'm at the doctor's still!
I opened my eyes to two nurses standing over me fanning me and telling me "You're okay now. You just passed out for a minute". They gave me ice, water, and worried glances.
Passing out is a weird feeling that most people hate, but if crack Taylor Swift is what my mind comes up with, then I'm totally okay with it.
