10 Tips for Apartment Living

1) Don't settle for the store brand cling wrap. It doesn't stick to anything, yet somehow manages to get all over you instead of the food you're actually trying to wrap. And the worst part is, once you realize that the store brand sucks, you think to yourself, 'I'll just use this stuff up quickly and then buy the GLAD brand'. Think again! The store brand NEVER RUNS OUT! I'm pretty sure they pack enough store brand cling wrap in that little box to wrap the entire Great Wall of China.... twice. Sink the extra 30 cents into GLAD brand. It's worth it.... trust me.

2) Whenever it's dark and you're home alone and there's a loud noise outside your door, it's safe to assume that it's an axe murderer coming to get you.... Panic.

3) The walls and floors are paper thin so keep that in mind when you're playing Justin Bieber's "Boyfriend" 9 times in a row.

4) No matter what, your stove will smoke and make ticking sounds, and your refrigerator will make strange breathing noises. Your stove might be a bomb. Just accept it.

5) That one thing you left at home because you thought you probably wouldn't need it.... you'll need it. Also, that one thing you brought because you thought 'just in case'.... you're never going to use it.
Psh! Who needs a stapler! On the other hand, I'm sure my bomb diffusing kit would come in much handier. Who knows? Maybe my stove will turn out to be a bomb.

6) There is no such thing as too much Ramen Noodles.

7) Stick to the library if you want to get work done because there are too many distractions at home. One of which includes Adele turning up out of the blue uninvited. God, I hate when she does that.

8) Don't run the dishwasher or washing machine close to bed time. You'll never get any sleep listening to the plates launch cannons at the bowls.

9) There will always be tons of mail addressed to the previous apartment owner. And I mean tons. Like "Harry Potter Hogwarts acceptance letters flying in through the chimney" tons. Just throw them away and ignore the large, red, "IMMEDIATE RESPONSE REQUIRED" stamp on the front of the envelopes.

10) The bus is never not crowded. This picture....

.... doesn't happen. This however....

.... happens all the time. Just avoid being trampled, ignore the armpit in your face, and swear next time you'll drive.

Boyfriend Material

Valentine's Day is definitely my most favorite holiday of the year! Okay, I lied. It's not. But pretending that it is, I made a blog post that's kind of in the spirit of V-Day. I've basically spent the last 36 years thinking of all of the male movie characters I can, comparing their personalities, weeping silently in a corner after realizing they're fictional, and then narrowing down my top 5 based on their personalities and well... I admit it, looks too. All 5 of these men I would date faster than you could make that weird stuttering, grunting noise you make when you're trying to get a word in. So, in no particular order, here's my top 5!

Matt Flamhaff from 13 Going On 30

Out of all of my choices, he's probably the most mature. He's also such a realistic character/adult. And he's just so nice. He makes Jenna a doll house of all her favorite things and what does she do with it? She throws it at him. What the heck, Jenna!? Don't you know that it's rude to throw doll houses at people? (This part isn't actually in the movie, but Matt talks about it when Jenna asks him why they went their separate ways). And after all this he is still willing to be friends with her and hang out on playgrounds and eat Razzles. So basically that means he's really good at putting up with "crazy" and still has a little 13 year old innocence. I'd eat Razzles with you any day, Matt, and I promise I'd never throw a doll house at you!

Noah Calhoun from The Notebook

Okay, okay! Every girl would probably put Noah on her list 1) because he's extremely attractive and 2) because it's Ryan Gosling so he's extremely attractive. But really, aside from the looks, Noah is probably one of the best guys in the history of guys. He is a hopeless romantic (the boat ride followed my the most epic kiss in the rain... I just died thinking about it), he writes letters to his girl every day, and he reads to his wife even though he knows she will just forget who he is in a matter of minutes. He really fights for her and I love that about him. He really means it when they say "in sickness and in health until death do us part". Marry me?

Kevin Doyle from 27 Dresses

I want someone who I can stand on the bar counter with and sing to "Bennie and the Jets" at the top of my lungs. I want someone who is so thoughtful that he gets me a phone to use instead of a messy planner. I want someone who is fun and patient enough to sit there as I try on 27 dresses. I want someone who sends me flowers while I'm at work. I want someone who is willing to sacrifice getting in trouble with his boss just to protect me. Do you see where I'm going with this? I want a Kevin Doyle. 

Flynn Rider from Tangled

Out of all the guys I picked, I had to have someone who was funny. Flynn is funny. Flynn is also very attractive even though he's an animated character. I don't really know why I like Flynn so much. Maybe it's because he completely turned his life around for the better, took Rapunzel on the adventure of her dreams, gave up riches for love, serenaded Rapunzel in a boat surrounded by floating lanterns (sigh), and ended up sacrificing his life to free the girl he loves. Or maybe it's just because of the smolder. Must. Resist. The. Smolder.

Tyler Prince from Sydney White

Don't ever watch "Sydney White" with me because throughout the entire movie I will be saying "Ugh, I want a Tyler Prince!" It's true. If you ever have trouble thinking of a good birthday gift for me, now you know. Just kidnap Matt Long. A lot of people haven't seen Sydney White so they don't know who this is, so to sum him up, as his last name implies, he is a charming college gentleman. He's like the hottest frat guy ever and he goes after the average-looking and slightly annoying Amanda Bynes. He serenades her in the library and gives her roses, and he's nice to her dorky outcast friends. He also helps rebuild their house, oh you know, because he's just nice. I don't really understand why Amanda Bynes is so against dating him. Oh, and if you're still not convinced, get this... the first time they hang out (because she refuses to go on a "date" with him) he takes her to a church to feed the poor. Umm... can you be any more perfect?