Monday, February 25, 2013

10 Tips for Apartment Living

1) Don't settle for the store brand cling wrap. It doesn't stick to anything, yet somehow manages to get all over you instead of the food you're actually trying to wrap. And the worst part is, once you realize that the store brand sucks, you think to yourself, 'I'll just use this stuff up quickly and then buy the GLAD brand'. Think again! The store brand NEVER RUNS OUT! I'm pretty sure they pack enough store brand cling wrap in that little box to wrap the entire Great Wall of China.... twice. Sink the extra 30 cents into GLAD brand. It's worth it.... trust me.

2) Whenever it's dark and you're home alone and there's a loud noise outside your door, it's safe to assume that it's an axe murderer coming to get you.... Panic.

3) The walls and floors are paper thin so keep that in mind when you're playing Justin Bieber's "Boyfriend" 9 times in a row.

4) No matter what, your stove will smoke and make ticking sounds, and your refrigerator will make strange breathing noises. Your stove might be a bomb. Just accept it.

5) That one thing you left at home because you thought you probably wouldn't need it.... you'll need it. Also, that one thing you brought because you thought 'just in case'.... you're never going to use it.
Psh! Who needs a stapler! On the other hand, I'm sure my bomb diffusing kit would come in much handier. Who knows? Maybe my stove will turn out to be a bomb.

6) There is no such thing as too much Ramen Noodles.

7) Stick to the library if you want to get work done because there are too many distractions at home. One of which includes Adele turning up out of the blue uninvited. God, I hate when she does that.

8) Don't run the dishwasher or washing machine close to bed time. You'll never get any sleep listening to the plates launch cannons at the bowls.

9) There will always be tons of mail addressed to the previous apartment owner. And I mean tons. Like "Harry Potter Hogwarts acceptance letters flying in through the chimney" tons. Just throw them away and ignore the large, red, "IMMEDIATE RESPONSE REQUIRED" stamp on the front of the envelopes.

10) The bus is never not crowded. This picture....


.... doesn't happen. This however....


.... happens all the time. Just avoid being trampled, ignore the armpit in your face, and swear next time you'll drive.

1 comment:

  1. So true! Great advice especially for first time home owners! Also, renters out there might want to in order to be safe in your apartment, you should always have a fire extinguisher and other safety features.

    ReplyDelete