Dear Dentist

I felt great as I walked into your office today. Even after you glared at me and asked in an unusually curt and bitchy voice, "Do you have an appointment?" I was still smiling. Wanna know why? It's because today was my last day having you as a dentist. That's right, our insurance changed, which means we're switching dentists faster than the radio stations around here jump at the chance to start playing Christmas music. It's not that my family is tired of you guys calling us the day of an appointment and asking to postpone it 6 months. Or that we dislike it when we call to confirm an appointment we've had booked for 4 months only to find out you didn't write it down and we have to reschedule. Don't get me wrong. We love that. It's quality customer care. You see, the reason I'm saying goodbye to you is because I will miss all the wonderful things you've done for me.

Remember that time I came in complaining that I had a severe pain in one of my teeth so you looked at it and told me it was only a small cavity and nothing was wrong. "Don't worry!" you say "It's not something you need to fix right now. We'll deal with it later". But that pain didn't go away, so at my next appointment I brought it up again. This time you decided to fill it even though it was small. But as you worked you realized that the cavity was way bigger than you expected and that it almost required a root canal. Then I remember you scolded me telling me that I should've told you about this earlier. I really appreciated that.

And then remember that time it took you 20 minutes to give me a cleaning and fill a cavity because you were busy and had 3 other patients? And then at the next appointment it took you 50 minutes to just give me a cleaning because you had one other patient? It still boggles my mind how you manage your time so well. It must be a magic trick or something.

I also love how every time I go in for a cleaning, you scold me and tell me that I have very inflamed gums as you poke that them with your little metal stick. When I floss, my gums don't become inflamed and they don't bleed. I must be flossing wrong though because I don't use a metal stick to floss. Silly me. I also love how my mouth will be sore for the next 12 hours after that. You must be doing something right. Pain is your game.

So to answer your question earlier, no, I didn't have an appointment. I just like walking into your office on a random day and surrounding myself with all the positive energy your office is filled with. This was my last appointment with you guys, and I have to admit, I'm not the least bit saddened. Frankly, I pretty much hate you guys. See you never.

Alison