I Once Met A Student...

Sometimes people are weird. Sometimes people are funny. Sometimes people are weird and funny. Most of the time these people are college students.

Freud's Theory of Oral Fixation
In any psychology class, Freud is bound to come up. Thankfully, most psychology teachers/professors are smart enough to realize that many of Freud's theories are to be taken with a grain of salt. In one of my classes, we got on the topic of Freud's stages of development in which he talks about his fixation beliefs, one of which being oral fixation. My professor begins to talk about how Freud believed that oral fixation could manifest itself in adult behaviors and then asked for examples of orally fixated behaviors we could observe. Without hesitation, this girl across the room from me shouts out, "Chewing gum!" and then glances at this dude chewing gum next to her. He stops mid chew and says to the class, "I'm not orally fixated, okay?"

Missing Pinky Toes
My Sociology professor likes to talk about topics that get a reaction from the class. The other day we were talking about one of these topics and I happened to be sitting in front of a rather talkative student. He doesn't talk out loud in class, he just kind of makes comments to himself about whatever the professor is saying. My professor starts to talk about what types of bodily changes people make for beauty. We start with the easy stuff like tattoos, piercings, hair dye, etc. We then move into the slightly more controversial lip injections, implants, botox, etc. Then my professor goes for the shocker. Here's how the conversation between her and the commentating boy that only I can hear behind me went...
Professor: "So you know the thing that women do for the high heels?"
Boy: "oh god..."
P: "They chop off their pinky toe!"
B: "Say WHAT!?!?"
P: "This is so they can fit into those pointed heels"
B: "Man, women are crazy!"
P: "Do you want to know what men do?"
B: "Nooo.."
P: "It has to do with their... reproductive parts..."
B: "Oh nooo. No. I don't want to-"
P: "They get implants to enlarge their testicles and penis!"
B: "You mean they don't chop them off??"
God, I had a such a hard time not giggling at this poor kid practically squirming behind me. He was very engrossed by my professor's shocking stories.

Naturalized Americans
We were going over examples of rituals in one of my classes with my very old, hard-of-hearing professor. One boy raises his hand and gives the example of singing the national anthem before sporting events. My professor incorrectly hears, "Naturalizing Americans before sporting events" and proceeds to give us a lecture about the process of becoming a citizen, adding, "I don't know what sporting events has to do with it! That didn't make any sense to me!" It's a good thing she couldn't really hear the class laughing.

Fun Facts
It seems like syllabus week at college has become syllabus and get-to-know-your-classmates-by-sharing-a-fun-fact week. Every single one of my classes this semester had us do this. It got to the point where I completely made up a fun fact about myself because who's really going to remember these? Heck, I sometimes forget the name of the person who just introduced themselves to me, and I'm not even joking about that. Anyway, I do remember one guy's "fun fact" if you want to even call it that. As we are going around the class hearing things like "My favorite food is mac and cheese" and "I can play 3 different instruments", we get to this boy who, with a completely straight face, says, "My fun fact is that I want this class to publicly humiliate me if I do bad on a test. I think this will help me do well in this class." WTF dude?!?! Are you serious? THAT'S your fun fact? I mean, is this really a fun fact, or this this just some weird-ass comment he's going to regret later? I'll let you decide.

Luke Skywalker's Right Hand
In my developmental class we were talking about technology that would reroute the nerves in an amputee's lost limb to their brain so they could control a false limb with their brain like a normal limb. My teacher asked if we thought that this technology was possible in the future of science. The quiet boy who sits behind me mumbles to himself, "They already figured that out 35 years ago when they gave Luke Skywalker a new right hand." I think he should speak up next time.

Hank
On this first day of one of my psychology classes, my teacher was going through the roll-call asking us if we went by a nick-name. She gets to this girl with long brown hair named Sarah, who corrects her saying, "Actually, I go by Hank". And now we all call Sarah, Hank. So that's Hank.

Almond Milk
Most people bring snacks to class. Some people even bring a meal. I've seen everything from a Starbucks PSL to a burger and fries. I've also seen an entire quart of almond milk. This girl in my class brings fruit and a giant quart of almond milk with a straw in it. I've never seen anything like it. The dude next to her drinks water out of a gallon jug of water. She drinks almond milk out of a quart of almond milk. And no shits are given. Cheers to almond milk and weird classmates!