The Usual Checklist

Every time I come home from college, there is a checklist of "usual" things that happen. The first night home is always the best because I love the usual checklist.

#1: My dog, Dakota, pees in the driveway when I pull up because she's so excited to see me. I spend a solid 10 minutes provoking her into running in pointless circles around the yard. I've gotten over the fact that my neighbors probably think this is a weird interaction between person and dog. That's probably why they have cats.

#2: I immediately do some chores because that's how everyone is greeted upon arriving home.... right?

#3: I pick up my brother, Matt, from whatever sports practice he is at, and I'm reminded why I'm so glad to be done with high school. Oakton looks like a jail for misfit vampires. As we drive home, my brother and I catch up. We have deep conversations like, "Sup?" and "Cool." Does this make me a "Bro"? Crap. We actually catch up later though.

#4: I get back home and Dakota repeats #1 because her memory span is short. She is what some scholars would call "unintelligent".

#5: I sit like a potato on the couch and absorb the fact that I'm home.

#6: I wait for my youngest brother, David, to get home, and hide from him. It's a tradition for me to hide and make him search for me before he can give me a welcome home hug. But this time is different. He arrives home earlier than I expect. I am still sitting on the couch out in the open. But David is so excited that he runs past me, heading straight for my room. I sit in disbelief that he didn't even notice me on the couch. He eventually realizes it.

#7: Everyone is productive. My parents make the welcome home steak dinner. David unloads the dishwasher and sets the table. I am productive too! I chase Dakota around the kitchen, creating chaos and making her bark. I bark back causing her to bark more because she doesn't understand why I am barking at her. I know my family enjoys this because my dad is always like, "OKAY!!! That's enough!!!" aaaahh.... productivity.

#8: As dinner is ending, Dad and I make bets on if Dakota will eat a piece of broccoli if it's dipped on leftover steak juices. I say no. He says yes. We watch Dakota and treat it like a football game, cheering for her. She is confused and spits out the broccoli after licking off all the steak juice. I win. My Dad yells, "Nooooo!!!" and I yell, "Yeahhhh!". My Mom rolls her eyes. 

#9: David and I play wii for a little while. David gets serious about what game we're playing. I don't. I sing an annoying top 40 song throughout the entire game just to annoy him.

#10: I wind down for the night. Maybe I'll have dessert, maybe I'll visit my friend across the street, or maybe I'll hunt for flying pigs. Who knows? I'm home from college. Anything can happen.