Haunted By Blondes

I was sprinting. Like really sprinting. It was the most free I’d felt in a long time. My eyes were watering from the cool air and the wind was blowing back my hair. I was flying down the road, but my legs weren’t the least bit tired. He was right behind me, trying to keep up, but I knew, even though his breathing was harder than mine, he would always remain right behind me. We were running together, heading nowhere in particular, but running fast as to get there as soon as we could.

Back in the parking garage, they had told us that it was time for him to get in the car and leave, and both of us weren’t ready for that. An older male adult started to approach us and made a movement to grab the boy, so we started to run. We ran away from the car, away from the parking garage, and away from the people telling us it was time to go.

So now there we were… sprinting. We started running down a hill, and I could see my friend’s green car up ahead, slowly driving with a few other cars. I was running fast enough that I closed the gap between the car and I rather quickly. As I approached, I could see the window was rolled down so I slowed my run to match the cars rolling speed. I waved at my friend as I came closer to the window. She looked at me and with her usual smile she waved back.

“Haven’t seen him in awhile!” she said, her head gesturing to the boy behind me.

“I know! But isn’t it great!” I called back, even though I didn’t really know who he was. All I knew was that he was always right behind me, wanting to run with me and wanting to follow me wherever we were heading.

I waved goodbye to my friend and cut down a path that led to a bunch of baseball fields. I called out behind me to the boy, encouraging him on, but he called back saying he was fine and not tired at all. But I already knew that. For some reason it just comforted me to know he was still right behind me. I knew I could look behind me to see if he was still there instead of just calling out, but I didn’t dare. I didn’t dare look because there was a thought in the back of my mind. I knew what would happen if I did look behind me… at the boy… and I couldn’t let that happen… not yet. Not while we were running and having so much fun feeling free. We entered the first baseball field and ran through the dugout and across the outfield, passing a few practicing players who cheered us on. We had to climb a fence and I worried it would make me tired, but as I pulled my self over it, I was pleasantly surprised that it didn’t cause my legs to burn with exhaustion.

We both made it over the fence with ease and plopped down in the neighboring baseball field, but this one was different. There was a game going on so we ran along the edge of the field. I approached one of the teams by the dugout and had to stop running in order to weave pass them. But they wouldn’t let me. Suddenly my legs felt tired and my breathing became heavier. I could hear the same from the boy behind me. The coach of the team asked me what I was doing and I told him that we had to run. We had to because it made us feel free. The coach told me I couldn’t keep running with the boy and that it was over.

I knew then that we had arrived to where we were going, and that it was time to do what I had been dreading in the back of my mind. It was time to turn around. To look at the boy behind me.

So I did.

He was younger than me. Not by much, but still a noticeable difference. And he had blonde hair, the same color blonde as me. He was smiling, but it was a sad sort of smile, like the kind you give someone who tells you, “Everything is going to be alright”. I felt like he was my long lost brother, and I was laying eyes on him for the first time in years.

“I’m fine! We don’t need to stop. I can do this. I could’ve kept running with you. I could’ve! I know I could’ve”, he said, his sad smiling eyes looking into mine.

“I never doubted you could”, I assured him.

Tears started to well up in my eyes. I knew what was coming. But at this moment, everything was peaceful. Everything was perfect. Almost.

I reached out for him. To hold his hand if only just for a second. To assure him that I’d always be there for him. But he was already vanishing and I was waking up from my dream. I was losing him… again. My hand grasped the air where his hand used to be… and I opened my eyes.

I don’t know who he is. I’ve never seen him before outside of my dream world. I don’t know why he is always there, but I’m never able to grab his hand. I’m never even able to look at him for long. I really wish I could figure out what this means. Why I have reoccurring dreams where I am with the blonde boy, but can never really be with him. There are many different scenarios when I am with the boy, but they always end the same. I find it rather funny how the mind works. How I can vividly dream about someone I know, but have never met. How my dreams can be haunted by a blonde.