Expectations vs. Reality

I feel like there are many times in our life when we expect something, but then it turns out very different. I decided to dedicate this post to all of those times. These are a few of the things I can think of... and yes, I have experienced all of them. (Also, this is my first time using paintbrush so my drawings won't be that good)

1) Expectation: My drawings are awesome when I use "Paintbrush"

Reality: A third grader's art looks more like Picasso than mine

2) Expectation: After I lay in the sun, I will be soooo tan:)

Reality: Ghosts are tanner than me

3) Expectation: Math is pretty basic with numbers and the letter "x"

Reality: How is this still considered "math" because I don't see a single number....

4) Expectation: Squirrels are evil

Reality: Squirrels are still kinda evil....

5) Expectation: I can give myself a manicure

Reality: A two year old painted my nails

6) Expectation: I haven't been on facebook in forever. People must miss me

Reality: I guess not...

7) Expectation: My snowman is gonna be awesome!

Reality: Well, that was kinda a fail

8) Expectation: Yay McDonalds!

Reality: Ew.

9) Expectation: I can ski like they do in the olympics!

Reality: AHHHHHHHHHH!

10) Expectation: I'm a good singer....

Reality: .... in the shower

Well, that's really all I got! And again... sorry about my artistic ability.... and my singing skills for anyone who's experienced them:)

The Evolution of Easter

When I look back over the years, I realize Easter has changed for me. I don't remember the exact year these changes happened so I'll basically just group them into age groups.

Earliest I can remember... 
The earliest memory I have of Easter is going to Church Easter morning. It was chaotic. I remember that my parents were trying to get me and my brother out of the house (because we were at that age where Church was booooorrrring). My brother had fallen down part of the stairs and was screaming and I had tripped over the base of the stair banister and hurt my knee. The rest was a blur of chaos.


Young years... like kindergarten/1st grade time period.
When I was little, I had it in my mind that the Easter Bunny was this 6 foot tall white bunny with a giant red bow on his neck. Something like this... except with a bigger bow-tie.

I used to write him letters because for some reason I thought the Easter Bunny was like Santa, in that he wouldn't come if you had been "bad" that year. So naturally, in my letter, I would put my explanations as to why I was mean to my brother, and then I would write all the good things I had done in hopes of canceling out the bad things.

With the help of my mom, my letter would be something like this: "Dear Easter Bunny, Sorry I've been mean to my brother Matt. Sometimes he's just real annoying. I've been really nice to all my friends though. And I'm doing good in school. I love my parents and my dog. And Easter is my favorite (flat out lying at this point). I hope you like the sticker I picked for you! Love, Alison"

I thought that maybe the Easter Bunny would see that I had actually been pretty good and therefore he would still leave me candy. I would also leave the Easter Bunny sparkly stickers from my sparkly sticker collection because I always thought that he would put the stickers on his bow-tie that he wore. I found out pretty quickly that I was the only little kid who believed this, thus ending my belief in the Easter Bunny at an early age. Santa was still cool with me though.

The majority of my childhood after I stopped believing in the Easter Bunny
These next few years are all kind of grouped together. It was typical to open Easter baskets on Easter morning after Church and then go to my Aunt's for the Easter party and the Easter egg hunt. I have a huge complaint about Easter egg hunts though. I am one of the oldest in my family, cousins included, so I would always be last. Still to this day I am last because I have always been the oldest... and yes... I still do Easter egg hunts. I'll explain later. But the hunts were always pretty intense in my family. Like if you dropped your basket and some eggs fell out... OH WELL! We were like vultures. If the egg fell out of your basket, it was gone within milliseconds. But we always got sooooo much candy.

My current years
Now Easter is more of a social thing for my cousins and I. But for some reason the adults will not stop doing Easter egg hunts. We are all really old now, but we still have to go look for the eggs they've hidden. The few young kids that are left run around in the frantic search for the plastic eggs, but us older kids have more fun with it. We'll sneak up behind the young kids and take eggs out of their baskets until they notice. Then we run away cackling. (We give them back of course, but not until the little kid catches us:) hahahaha!)  This year was even more fun because we played some games after the hunt too! We had one game where people were all given eggs. All but one were hard boiled. For the game you had to crack the egg over your head and whoever got the raw egg... well, yeah. You get the point. My Dad was the lucky winner of that egg. We also had an egg throwing game where you had to through RAW eggs at a target. My egg's shell was hard as a rock. I swear. I ended up breaking the target twice before my egg broke. This game was a whole lot of fun, but a lot of people ended up covered in raw egg... I don't even know how that happened.

I've realized that the only thing that hasn't changed for me and Easter, is the fact that my brothers and I always get a new toothbrush in our Easter basket. Yep. A toothbrush.
"What did you get for Easter?" 
"A Barbie, Candy, a boombox, and 10 dollars! What did you get?" 
"Candy and a toothbrush."
But I guess now it's kind of a tradition.
And I guess I can use that toothbrush to make sure I don't end up at the Dentist with a thousand cavities... because we all know how much I hate the Dentist...

Happy Easter!!! (A day late)

We're All Just Really Bad Swimmers

So tonight at dinner I was talking to my friend Kelly about everything stressful going on in my life. Right now I'm at a bit of a low point. I have classes to sign up for and after talking to my advisor I still don't know what I am doing, I just signed up to train to run a marathon in 15 weeks after school starts again, I don't know how I am doing in some of my classes, summer plans are more chaotic than ever, and I have spent over 5 hours working on general class level homework in the past two days. I literally feel like I'm drowning in stuff (So thats where that phrase comes from!). Well, as I talked more and more to Kelly, I started to draw a parallel of swimming to God. So, here goes...

(Disclaimer: This is my personal metaphor/parallel even though I use the word "we". I'm not saying everyone experiences the same thing. If you do then thats great. But this is more of my own personal "struggle" with God.)

All of our lives we are learning to swim (live) in this big ocean (life). God is the one who put us in this ocean, but none of know how to swim. But God, being God, isn't just gonna let us drown. No, no, no. He's there. He is like one of those red lifeguard floats. And we are usually taught from birth/Christianity, to grab onto that float if we don't want to drown. So as little kids we grab it. We hold onto God because we are told to. I don't think we really know what that float really is at that age, but we hold onto it anyway. As we grow older, we start to kick and try to swim on our own. (This is like a parallel that we start to venture away from God since we don't really know him on a personal level.) Then there comes a time when we think we can do it! We can swim without that float! We can live without God. WRONG! At first you can do it. You think "This is easy!". But then you start to drown. It's scary. But the float is always there. It is never out of arm's reach. As you begin to drown, you realize that swimming without the float is impossible, so you grab back on and vow never to leave the float again.

That could be the end of the story, but it's not. Once you get back on that float, you are happy. You realize that the ocean is much better when you are floating. After awhile though, you get distracted. That's like what's happening to me now. Life starts to throw a lot of stuff at your face and it begins to stress you out. Waves begin to hit you in the face. Some people hold on to the float harder... those are the really good people. But others, like me, begin to think of the float as a hassle. They begin to forget that the float is what's keeping them from not drowning. They focus too much on the waves and begin to let go of the float again. You may be able to get through some of the waves on your own, but there's always that one wave. It hits you hard... right in the face. You begin to drown again. And the only thing thats going to save you is that float... thats always right there next to you wether you see it or not.

So you see my parallel? When life is going good, it's so easy to begin to push God aside. When life begins to get stressful, it's so easy to push God aside. When something goes bad, it's so easy to push God aside. But without him, we are going to drown. He's always there for us even if we start to lose sight of him. He's just waiting for us to reach out and grab him again. He put us in this ocean knowing that we don't know how to swim without a float. But he's there to help us stay above water, and once we learn to never let go of that float, we begin to thrive. We're all just really bad swimmers without God:)

My cousin, Christine:)

The Prettiest Picture

I don't know what inspired me to write this. It may have been my dream, or a commercial I was watching, or the girl I met yesterday at a volunteer clinic, or something my grandma told me over spring break, but I’ll get to that later. I know this sounds lame, but I was just thinking about life. It made me kind of sad too. I was thinking about how sometimes people don’t feel perfect and that makes me sad.

I feel like there are so many things in this world that can easily make you feel bad about yourself. For instance, doctors. I know they are supposed to help you and all, but I feel like sometimes they just do the opposite. My doctors have told me things like; “You have back problems”, “Your feet are flat and you’re going to need to fix that”, “You’re underweight”, “Your height to weight ratio is wrong”, “You have a pigmentation problem”, “Your teeth aren’t perfect”. Normally this doesn’t bother me, but when I think about it, it’s these types of things that make you feel bad about yourself. And these things mixed with T.V commercials about “If you don’t have the newest product you suck” kinda thing, and magazines with crazy thin and computer enhanced models. And this is just the external beauty stuff!

There are so many mental imperfections too. School seems like its all about competition and grades now. Grades and testing seem to say everything about you. We’re always looking to the future and planning ahead. If we look too far, we miss what is happening now, and if we worry too much about what’s happening now, then we miss the simple pleasures, and then life passes by in the blink of an eye.

We spend so much time trying to be perfect. Can’t we just be ourselves? Isn’t that good enough for the rest of the world? Shouldn’t that be good enough? I mean, if someone breaks your heart, do we cry because we couldn’t change ourselves to be what they wanted us to be, or do we move on because they just weren’t meant for you.

I guess I’m kind of ranting, but it makes me sad to think that this is happening. People don’t feel perfect because of society. I guess one of the only ways to help this is to build your confidence, and the confidence of others. So, to that girl I met the other day… you have a wonderful personality and I am really glad that I was able to meet you. Please, keep being your beautiful self!

When I visited my grandma, I went into her room and was looking at all of her pictures all over her walls. I told her, “Grandma, these are so pretty!” She looked at them and thought for a minute and then said, “They are pretty aren’t they? But do you want to see the prettiest picture?” I nodded. She held up a mirror to me and said, “That is the prettiest picture.”

So, to my grandma… thank you for making me realize that I am perfect just the way I am. And to everyone else… you really are the prettiest picture:)

Debutante Ball

So Over break I went to this ball, and every time I tell someone that, they ask me all about it. So I'm dedicating this post to explaining what it was and putting up pictures for the people who haven't seen them already on facebook.

To start the night, Cecylia (my cousin) got official pictures taken with her family. After that, we all went to dinner and took our own pictures:)

Left to Right: Me, Christine (front), Cecylia, Pat, and Cheyanne.

Apparently a few of them decided to make some funny faces.... Pat thought it was funny... I didn't really notice.

But then my Aunt Tina said something funny and we all just started laughing :D

After pictures and dinner, we went to the ball. To be honest, I don't even really know how to explain why they had the ball. All I know is that it's like that thing in the movie, "She's the Man"and my cousin was a Debutante like Amanda Bynes:) You can see all the other debutantes and the Kings of Mardi Gras in the background.

They announced her name and she walked down the aisle with her dad as they spoke about all the cool stuff she's done. Kinda like announcing a resume.

After that, all the Debutantes danced with their Dad and their escort. So cute:)

After all of that was done, the party really started. The parents stayed in the main room and had an auction and older songs (songs they liked). The kids were allowed into another room where there was a DJ and sparkling champagne and snacks. We danced the rest of the night!

This was "Dynamite" if you can't tell. "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes..."

It was a really great night and I'm really glad I got the opportunity to go:)

The Dentist

So guess what I got to do the day before my Birthday!?!? (If you don’t know, you can just look at the title…)

I strongly dislike hate the dentist. And these are 10 reasons why…

1)   They always find something wrong. Like you either have a cavity, or a bad wisdom tooth, or, if they can’t find anything wrong, the default is that you’re not flossing enough. Seriously… who actually flosses every night?

2)   They blow up every little problem into something massive.

Dentist: “You have a cavity that needs to be filled”

You: “Okay. What happens if I don’t fill it?”

Dentist: “Oh, it’s not a big deal if you do. But if you don’t, the tooth might rot away, make you blind, give you brain cancer, and turn you into a massive serial killer… but like I said… no biggie.”

3)   Part way through the exam, they get up and leave to do something else. They tell you they’ll be right back, but it always takes them like an hour, and you’re left just sitting there with drool coming out of your mouth. When I was little, I had to go get a crown put on a tooth, so they put me on some sort of pain med thing. I don’t know what it was, but it made me a little loopy. And then, they left me alone for a little while to check on another patient. Bad idea. I felt like I was alone forever. I started to think that they had forgotten about me (the pain meds making me loopy) so I got up out of the chair and walked into the hallway to try to find a dentist. Of course the dentists that saw me walking away freaked out, so they came running after me and led me back to my little dental chair. They didn’t leave me alone after that.

4)   The X-Rays. You know how they always have to put that little heavy grey bib on you? I don’t really get the point of that. Like I know it’s so you don’t have to expose your body to excess radiation, but your head is still exposed. Soooo, my shoulders won’t get cancer, but my brain will… awesome.

5)   The fluoride. It. Tastes. HORRIBLE. Bubble gum flavor…. Yeah right. More like moldy candy flavor.

6)   You can never brush the right way. Apparently there’s this new way to brush… I don’t even know.

7)   All that natural stuff your body does like the gag reflex, and saliva glands. Those things make the appointment annoying.

8)   That little toothbrush thing they use to clean your teeth. To be honest, I don’t even know if it’s a toothbrush. But it makes this grinding sound when they put it on your teeth and after they’re done, it makes your teeth feel like they have sand on them. I really don’t like the feeling of sand on my teeth.

9)   I don’t understand why dentists always have to ask you questions while they have their hands in your mouth. I don’t think they even know what your answer is. They just ask a question like “Where do you go to school?” and respond by saying something like, “Oh, wow! That’s good!” So I could answer with something like, “My dog died in the fire that burned down my house” and they would still have the same response because they can’t actually understand your answer anyway since their hands are in your mouth.

10) My dentist always tells me I need braces and headgear. Like every time I go in. I’m in college… there is no way I am gonna wear headgear or braces. Plus, she doesn’t even tell me I need braces. She tells my Dad. This is how the conversation goes…

Dentist (talking to me): Bite down. Hmmmmm… okay.  (goes to get my Dad) (talking to my dad) She needs braces and headgear.

Dad: uhhhhhh…. Okay….

Me (in my head): I’m sitting right here… so, I can hear you.

You know what I did after my appointment? I got a 7-11 Slurpee… full of sugary soda. Take that dentist!

Learning To Dance In The Rain!

As you may have noticed, I’ve changed my Blog’s title. I think dancing in the rain is great, especially if it’s warm outside. I’m not really a fan of dancing in the sleeting, icy rain. That’s not as fun. It’s actually kinda miserable. But dancing in the rain is like looking at the positives of life… and hey, that’s my new motto!

Looking at the positives in life can be as simple as enjoying the small things you see everyday. A few weeks ago, the weather was really nice. (Now it’s back to being cold. I don’t like it when the weather plays mind games like this. It was raining a few days ago too.) But I started to notice a trend in people’s behaviors while the weather was still warm. They seemed happier and seeing people happy makes me happy. I also witnessed a few secret dances, which made me smile. Haha… I’ll explain.

On one of the first days it was warm outside, I went to get a late night dinner with some friends. We went to one of the main dining halls and we stayed and talked till we were some of the last people in the dining hall. As we were just kind of sitting and relaxing, Taylor Swift’s “Today Was A Fairytale” came on the speakers. It was a really great song for the moment and we were all sitting there enjoying it when we noticed someone across the hall. She was a dining hall worker who was cleaning the tables at the end of the hall. What made me smile was that she was dancing and singing to the song, unaware that we had seen her. She was using her spray cleaner bottle as a microphone and her washrag as… well… I don’t even know. She was just kind of waving it around her as she danced. She clearly didn’t know that we had seen her, but that’s what made it so good. It was just really happy to see someone like her having a wonderful time in her own little world. It was cute.

A few days later, I witnessed another secret dance. I have 8am classes everyday and usually when I leave my dorm, there’s only one or two other people leaving for class too. Most of the time when I leave, there’s one particular guy I notice leaving from a different section of Fred (Fred is the shortened name of my dorm, Frederickson). I always notice him because he wears these giant, bright blue headphones when he walks to class. This particular nice morning, he was dancing. He didn’t see me since I was behind him, so I guess he thought he was alone. But I saw you giant, bright blue headphone kid:) He was doing his own little made up dance jig. His moves consisted of doing a little hopping foot thing, bobbing his head from side to side, and moving his arms around in the motion of a train’s wheels. I don’t know about you, but I usually don’t feel like dancing at 8 in the morning, but again, I think the nice weather has made everyone a little happier.

Over winter break, I was actually caught doing my own secret dance. I was driving home from dropping my brother off at practice and I was blasting Cascada’s “One More Night” (If you haven’t heard that song, you should go listen to it…. It’s a really good dance song because it has a good beat. Well actually, I feel like anything Cascada does has a good beat so yeah) Anyway, I was jamming out to the song and I guess when I got to a stoplight and two people saw me. Normally, I would be really embarrassed, but the two people proceeded to have a dance-off with me while we waited at the red light. It was fun…. And I’m pretty sure I won:)

There’s so many other little things that make me happy too. I guess since I went on a run today and my endorphins were flowin’, I was able to think of them a lot easier. A few little things that make me happy include:

1)    Getting compliments. I got one a few weeks ago from a woman. She complimented me on the workout I had done.

2)    When people hold the door for me.

3)    When people smile, or say “thank you” when I hold the door for them. Or if they just smile just because they are nice.

4)    Music with the ukulele in it. Like “Hey, Soul Sister”, “I’m Yours”, “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”, and “Rhythm of Love”. (Doesn’t that make you happy too? I mean who doesn’t like at least one of those songs? I’m telling you… it’s because of the ukulele. It’s a really awesome instrument. I’m trying to learn how to play, but I seem to be failing a little… well, actually a lot)

5)    Anything on that list of things I like in one of my previous blog entries.

6)    Randomly, I really like when it’s warm outside and it’s raining. Like spring rain. It’s so fresh!

When I was little, I loved playing in the rain. For fun, my brothers and I used to do rain runs. We would stand in our garage while it rained outside, and then we’d find an object outside like a tree, car, or mailbox, and we would run as fast as we could to the object and back. And that’s about all the game consisted of. I don’t really understand why we thought it was so fun. Actually, I remember getting kinda angry with my youngest brother David because he would cheat. Since he was so little and couldn’t run as fast as Matt and I, he would always turn around and run back before he even got close to touching the object. Such a little cheater….

But I still think being out in the rain is really fun. Someday I want to dance in the rain with my Prince Charming;) I feel like it would be so magical! I picture it something like this…

But until then, I’ll just be dancing in the rain on my own having the time of my life! After all, “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain!”