Fangirling

Like every other normal girl, I go through fangirl phases in my life. Urban dictionary defines fangirling as, "The reaction a fangirl has to any mention or sighting of the object of her "affection". These reactions include shortness of breath, fainting, high pitched noises, shaking, fierce head shaking as if in the midst of a seizure, endless blog posts, etc." A fangirl phase for me is when I become slightly obsessed with a famous guy, and yes, it seems that I am writing a blog post about it. Well played Urban dictionary. My first real fangirl phase was back in 2003 over Jeremy Sumpter when he played Peter Pan in the 10 millionth remake of that movie. I remember lying awake the night after I watched the movie hoping against all hopes that Tinkerbell would take me away to meet Jeremy. Never happened. I got over that phase as soon as he got slightly fat in some random baseball movie a couple years later.

The next fangirl phase I can remember embarrassingly enough was Taylor Lautner. Confession: There's a picture of him in one of my old diaries. Like a "Sharkboy and Lava Girl" picture. Forgot that he did that movie, did you? Yeah, I'd like to forget that too. And I'm sure he would also agree. There's a karate dance scene he does that's more than horrendous. Now I'm kind of appalled by the fact I liked him that much. Twilight pretty much shit on the reputations of all those actors. Except Kristen Stewart's. Having one emotion during a movie doesn't really make you an actress so....

After those two fangirl phases, I went through a lot of small celebrity crushes. Zac Efron, Adam Levine (before the awful blonde hair), JGL, Shemar Moore, Ryan Gosling... the list goes on. I have a Pinterest page for all of the men I like, so visit that. My point is, it's been awhile since I've gone through another hardcore "fangirl" phase.

Until Matt Hires.

I know that's not a big name at all, but believe me he's worth a check out on iTunes. He deserves to be more well known.

But in all seriousness... I'm obsessed. I recently went to his concert, which was more like 30 people standing around listening to music than an actual concert, but hey! That's what you get from a not-so-well-known artist. And it allowed me to be closer to him, like nothing-separating-us-but-air close. I'm actually not that obsessed (or maybe I'm just really good at hiding my "high pitched noises and fierce head shaking as if in the midst of a seizure" as urban dictionary would claim) but I do truly love him as an artist and if given the chance would marry him. I will come to my senses soon and realize the absurdity of what I'm saying but until now, I am allowed to go on and on about how much I love Matt Hires. Because I'm fangirling.

After the concert, Lanie and I and two nice guys we met there, talked to him and his band for about an hour. I was literally quivering in excitement when he let us take 2 failed photos with him before we actually got a good one. I'm also pretty sure I made him giggle about our incompetence over taking pictures. Don't care if he was laughing with me or at me, I heard a tiny giggle and I pride myself in that. He was also like, "Sorry I'm pretty sweaty after being on stage" and I'm all like, "Sorry I'm pretty shaky after being in your presence" (I didn't actually say that to him, but I was thinking it). I did let out some high pitched noises when I was notified later that night that he favorited all of my tweets that mentioned him even if I didn't tag him in the post. It's the little things for me.

Well, I guess for now that's enough of my fangirl emotions spilled out into a blogpost for the world to see. I will definitely be a fan of Matt long after my fangirl phase is over, but for the moment let me have this.

Passing Conversations Part 2

The passing conversations I've heard during my last semester at JMU....
Part 1

Pink- said by a girl 
Blue- said by a boy

They have deep fried stuff everywhere because people aren't getting fat and dying fast enough

God I have so much back sweat right now

In my opinion that is the most badass sound a man can make. That rough deep Japanese samurai yell

How did he manage to decapitate himself? I mean, wouldn't that hurt?

So ketchup and rice is not a good combo, huh?

No no no. I want a plushy toothless toy.

Apparently there was a couple murdered in their basement. So we went down there with only one flashlight

Do you want to mention something about her limbs too?

Well we wouldn't be doing science without talking about things with weird names

Play with your flubber for awhile and see what happens

I was mortified so I ripped him to pieces... literally

I don't want to be the guy who comes in late and is like what's up bitches

Guy 1: It's like a straight line to cut through
Guy 2: So like a triangle?
Guy 1: Yeah. Well no. It's like one of those weird triangles. Like the ones where you don't really know if it's a triangle. You know what I'm talking about?
Guy 2: Oh yeah.

Sometimes I just go home on the weekend to see my dog. I miss him more than my parents

I've never taken more than 15 credits.
Wha- how are you GRADUATING?!?

How 'bout instead of the limit does not exist, we say math does not exist... therefor there is no answer and no homework to do for this stupid class

He was like a mix between the old Michael Jackson and the new one

I LOVE bald old men. It's unhealthy.

His name is Sebastian, so we call him Se-badass-tian

Girl: If I wait for the bus any longer I'm going to get melanoma.
Guy: I'm pretty sure you can't get melanoma if it's overcast and raining...
Girl: Well... you know what I mean... That disease you get from getting cold and wet.
Guy: Pneumonia?
Girl: Whatever. I'm not a health science person

66 million years ago there was a dinosaur that was basically a chicken from hell

They're probably wondering why I'm stalking a 4 year old asian girl

They gave me a bottle of tequila and a ring pop and that's it. 

Girl 1: My feet feel like grape jello right now
Girl 2: Why grape jello?
Girl 1: That's just how it is

Not many people know I'm an expert at regurgitating gross foods

Whatever it was, it was warm and sticky and had something hard in it

STAY C14SSY JMU!

My Review of HGTV Shows

I have a problem. While I'm doing work and need background noise, you can be sure that I'll have HGTV on. You can sometimes tell that I've recently watched an HGTV show when your Pinterest fills up with "dream home" pins from me. You're welcome. But hey, on the plus side I've become a great HGTV critic. Don't get me wrong, I love a good HGTV show, but there are a lot of things that really bug me about them.

Flip or Flop
I've only seen a little bit of this show, but in the 3 episodes I've watched the guy always seems to think that, "If we can't flip this house and stay within our budget, it could cause us to lose too much money and our house flipping business will be doomed!!!!" First of all, you have this TV show and this episode is airing so clearly your business isn't doomed and you're doing just fine because, if you remember, YOU HAVE A SHOW ON HGTV!!! You can pay for these houses in all cash, so you're clearly financially fine. Also, house flipping is not as dramatic as your voice tone would suggest. It's not a life threatening disease... It's just a little mold. Chill dude.

Property Brothers
This is my favorite HGTV show because the brothers are genuinely funny, very attractive, and surprisingly good with kids. Don't ask me how I know that last part. But, every good show has a few problems. In this one, they make it seem so easy. It's like you can have this amazing personalized home for super cheap (in the home buying world of money, that is). Also, these people get theses fixer-uper homes and transform the master suite and living areas, which is great and all, but what about the rest of the originally disgusting home? Yeah, your kitchen and living room look like a million dollars, but don't your other bedrooms still have that God awful wall paper and stained carpet?

Love It Or List It
This is by far the most annoying HGTV show in the history of HGTV shows! The show is so scripted! I swear the hosts, Hilary and David, are Stacy and Clinton's annoying younger siblings. (Stacy and Clinton are from TLC's "What Not To Wear"). Like, couldn't they at least pretend to try to make up their own puns and taunts instead of talking to me like I have the education of a 12 year old? Plus, Hilary and David are always fighting. I know they think it's funny, but I'm not an idiot. And you're not a stand-up comedian. So please spare us all the fake bickering. If I wanted to watch bickering, I'd find old home videos of me and my brothers. P.S. Hilary can never stay on budget. You'd think she'd learn from the 50 times she's failed and tell the couple upfront there might be a few unforeseen plumbing/electrical problems, but no. Instead, she waits until they're in the middle of a huge project to tell the couple and then acts surprised when they get pissed off they have to give her another $2,000.

House Hunters
I swear to God.... 30% of this show is the couple actually looking for new houses and seeing all the different options they can get. The other 70% is that female narrator recapping what you just watched before the commercial break. "Amanda wants a move in ready home with double sinks in the master bathroom, but Jonathan wants a few projects around the house and is more concerned with storage space and budget. The couple wasn't interested in the first house because it was over budget and had little curb appeal. Realtor Jenny thinks this next house might give Jonathan the storage space he wants, and satisfy Amanda's need for the perfect bathroom..." And so on...

Property Virgins
I don't usually watch this show because it's probably the most boring. The couples on this show have no idea how much their money will realistically get them, and they focus on the wrong things. Who cares if the master bedroom doesn't have crown moldings. You should probably care more about the number of bedrooms, the cat pee stained carpet, and the old people smell that's been absorbed by the walls for the past 50 years. But I'm not an expert.

Haunted By Blondes

I was sprinting. Like really sprinting. It was the most free I’d felt in a long time. My eyes were watering from the cool air and the wind was blowing back my hair. I was flying down the road, but my legs weren’t the least bit tired. He was right behind me, trying to keep up, but I knew, even though his breathing was harder than mine, he would always remain right behind me. We were running together, heading nowhere in particular, but running fast as to get there as soon as we could.

Back in the parking garage, they had told us that it was time for him to get in the car and leave, and both of us weren’t ready for that. An older male adult started to approach us and made a movement to grab the boy, so we started to run. We ran away from the car, away from the parking garage, and away from the people telling us it was time to go.

So now there we were… sprinting. We started running down a hill, and I could see my friend’s green car up ahead, slowly driving with a few other cars. I was running fast enough that I closed the gap between the car and I rather quickly. As I approached, I could see the window was rolled down so I slowed my run to match the cars rolling speed. I waved at my friend as I came closer to the window. She looked at me and with her usual smile she waved back.

“Haven’t seen him in awhile!” she said, her head gesturing to the boy behind me.

“I know! But isn’t it great!” I called back, even though I didn’t really know who he was. All I knew was that he was always right behind me, wanting to run with me and wanting to follow me wherever we were heading.

I waved goodbye to my friend and cut down a path that led to a bunch of baseball fields. I called out behind me to the boy, encouraging him on, but he called back saying he was fine and not tired at all. But I already knew that. For some reason it just comforted me to know he was still right behind me. I knew I could look behind me to see if he was still there instead of just calling out, but I didn’t dare. I didn’t dare look because there was a thought in the back of my mind. I knew what would happen if I did look behind me… at the boy… and I couldn’t let that happen… not yet. Not while we were running and having so much fun feeling free. We entered the first baseball field and ran through the dugout and across the outfield, passing a few practicing players who cheered us on. We had to climb a fence and I worried it would make me tired, but as I pulled my self over it, I was pleasantly surprised that it didn’t cause my legs to burn with exhaustion.

We both made it over the fence with ease and plopped down in the neighboring baseball field, but this one was different. There was a game going on so we ran along the edge of the field. I approached one of the teams by the dugout and had to stop running in order to weave pass them. But they wouldn’t let me. Suddenly my legs felt tired and my breathing became heavier. I could hear the same from the boy behind me. The coach of the team asked me what I was doing and I told him that we had to run. We had to because it made us feel free. The coach told me I couldn’t keep running with the boy and that it was over.

I knew then that we had arrived to where we were going, and that it was time to do what I had been dreading in the back of my mind. It was time to turn around. To look at the boy behind me.

So I did.

He was younger than me. Not by much, but still a noticeable difference. And he had blonde hair, the same color blonde as me. He was smiling, but it was a sad sort of smile, like the kind you give someone who tells you, “Everything is going to be alright”. I felt like he was my long lost brother, and I was laying eyes on him for the first time in years.

“I’m fine! We don’t need to stop. I can do this. I could’ve kept running with you. I could’ve! I know I could’ve”, he said, his sad smiling eyes looking into mine.

“I never doubted you could”, I assured him.

Tears started to well up in my eyes. I knew what was coming. But at this moment, everything was peaceful. Everything was perfect. Almost.

I reached out for him. To hold his hand if only just for a second. To assure him that I’d always be there for him. But he was already vanishing and I was waking up from my dream. I was losing him… again. My hand grasped the air where his hand used to be… and I opened my eyes.

I don’t know who he is. I’ve never seen him before outside of my dream world. I don’t know why he is always there, but I’m never able to grab his hand. I’m never even able to look at him for long. I really wish I could figure out what this means. Why I have reoccurring dreams where I am with the blonde boy, but can never really be with him. There are many different scenarios when I am with the boy, but they always end the same. I find it rather funny how the mind works. How I can vividly dream about someone I know, but have never met. How my dreams can be haunted by a blonde. 

Advice From a College Senior

Studying the difference between a Pepo and a Pome can really reinforce the fact that you know for sure you do not want to be a botanist or plant biologist... ever.

Give in-class group work a chance. You'd be surprised at how much it can help you learn or remember the material.

It's okay to get homesick

When your friend face plants in the snow while streaking, laugh at them as you run by because a friend helps you up. A best friend laughs.

There will be many times when you make eye contact with someone in your class and share a moment of, "Did she really just say that?" When that happens, you can both giggle. Shared moments are the best moments.

If a guy sings to you, cherish it. How many other people do you know that get serenaded?

Be yourself around new lab partners. You never know how many friends you'll make from lab partners.

It's okay to take half shots as a girl

Enjoy singing to Christmas music in the car in the middle of March

Don't rely on the curve. Rather, be thankful it helped you increase the grade you probably would've gotten. No wait, actually... rely on it

Do your share of the group work without being a total d***. Group work sucks for everyone.

Snow days are awesome until they cause Saturday classes

A night in eating home baked cookies and watching endless reruns of Criminal Minds with the people you love can be way more fun than going to a raging party with a lopsided girl to guy ratio

Be kind to the people living below you and more importantly, don't piss off the people living above you

Appreciate the unique quirks each of your professors have, whether it's a past hippie lifestyle, a love of goat sucking birds, or an Einstein style hairdo, they're all great.

Pursue friend crushes. It might end up with a free season of Glee for a week, or a night of margaritas

As much as you can, enjoy late nights in the library with classmates. Cherish the bonds formed over a mutual hatred of a professor, confusion over a lecture, or connection between Oxygen and Hydrogen... ha ha... get it?

If you get called out for dancing your ass off, just keep dancing.

When a professor reiterates what you just said but gets it completely wrong, just go with it. Even if you're thinking, "Yes, exactly... but also not really at all what I'm saying"

Speak up in class. It can win you major brownies points... or maybe just the points you need to get a good grade

That sketchy Mexican food truck on the side of the road might actually make the best tacos you've ever tasted. Just maybe avoid ordering anything with chihuahua or beef tongue in it.

Be brave. Even if that means going up to a group of cheering strangers without your roommate

You can never have too many people helping conquer the spider in your room or the tiny snake in your apartment

Be careful where you sit in class after the first week. People get territorial over "their seat" and they will bite you.

Sometimes friends of friends can become your best friends so always be open to meeting new people... even if your first encounter is sharing the front seat of a car.

Try to have a conversation with a maintenance worker that comes to fix something in your apartment or dorm. You'd be surprised about how much a 40 year old man with a daughter knows about Justin Bieber

Don't cry over spilled sheep blood in lab

Ordering delivery is always a good idea

Drunk people can be hilarious

Group work sucks, but if you make the best out of it and enjoy the weird characters you're working with, it might suck a little less.

Listen to your professors. Sometimes they have cool stories. And sometimes you might find out they're in a folk band

Don't be afraid to interact with the person sitting next to you

Go big on Halloween... just not "Mean Girls" big.

If the Redbull you just drank gives you the idea to run around your apartment complex in the rain on a Friday night, do it! It might actually be fun

Embrace some of the stereotypes surrounding your major. "Oh, did I put too many nails in the wall? Well, sorry, but I'm an art major. I can't count"

A friend can help you compose a perfect text

Get involved in as many things as you can freshman year. Some clubs may be fails because they end up smoking cigarettes more than saving the planet, while some groups can have you filming a make-shift Titanic scene in a fountain with friends.

These can be the best 4 years of your life if you make the most of it and cherish the little moments!

Sexiest Men

February. I automatically associate February with Valentine's Day.... so naturally, I decided to make a "Sexiest Men" post.
*Also... Blogger did not notify me that I had forgotten to add an "e" in the title of Sexiest Men so it would have been Sexist Men... totally different meanings.... Thanks for not catching that Blogger.*

Adam Levine- I named him "sexiest man" before People Magazine did. Just ask my old roommate, Caryn, or anyone else who has been around me every time a Maroon 5 song comes on. That. Voice. I was thinking the other day that if I were to go on the show "The Voice" I would have a hard time choosing between Adam Levine and Usher (Assuming that I'd be picked by both of them because my voice is just that good). On the one hand, I am very attracted to Adam, and not that I've watched the show, but I'm pretty sure he's already won a season. But on the other hand, Usher did create an 18 year old, world famous, many mistake making, pop music singing, egg throwing, successful, dancing douche bag named Justin Bieber.... and that is quite a resume. Sorry about that rant but that's what happens when I start talking about Adam Levine.

George Clooney- You silver fox you. He's living proof that you can become more attractive as you age.

Banksy- (Borrowed from Salon.com) Looks are overrated. Not that Bansky is a bad-looking guy. It’s just that we don’t know – or particularly care. This fall, the British graffiti artist/full-time provocateur took his act to New York City and rapidly became the biggest thing to hit the town since the cronut ... In short, he had fun. He reminded the art world that making things is supposed to be joyful and subversive and weird, and he let the whole great unwashed denizens of the city in on the joke. We wouldn’t know you if we passed you on the street, Banksy, but you’re a good time. And that is very, very sexy.

Justin Timberlake- Admit it, you never thought the bleached permed hair guy from N'sync was going to go anywhere after the boy band. Look who's laughing now! Sing to me JT!

Zac Efron- Definitely didn't expect him to ever make my list, but that permanently changed when I literally bumped into his tan, muscular.... strong.... tan.... amazing.... hot.... strong arms. He's 10 times sexier in person. When I bumped him, he apologized to me. I took it as a marriage proposal. We're engaged now.

Shemar Moore- To everyone who says nothing is impossible.... try to find an unattractive picture of Shemar and then get back to me. This man has it all. And he's 40+ years old. Hot. Damn.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt- I don't know why I love JGL so much. Maybe it's how adorable he is in 500 Days of Summer. Or maybe it's his mysterious sexiness in Inception. Or maybe it's his scary, poorly done eyebrows that weirdly resemble Bruce Willis in Looper. Who cares. He's on my list. Remember when JGL went through that ugly phase? Neither do I.










Anyone famous with a british accent

And I thought I'd add.... Definitely NOT Juan Pablo- the current Bachelor on ABC. I'm so sick of people saying how sexy he is. I think he resembles a (very fit) potato. He is fake and not very sexy. Let the all the crazy women fight over him. I'll remain unimpressed by ABC's choice of Bachelor. #StillTeamZak

So that about sums it up. My list of dream men that will never be my Valentine. I'm gonna go eat some chocolate now.... and cry.

Shredding The Gnar (from a beginner's perspective)

"I don't always shred the gnar, but when I do, it's usually the gnar that shreds me." -Me

This morning I woke up so sore that I literally had to flop out of bed and I was reminded of what I did to my body yesterday out of free will. Snowboarding. My neck is sore sore that I have trouble holding my head up. I had to pathetically crawl into my bed last night and flop around trying to get comfortable because I was too sore to control normal muscle movements. There are only a few times I say I'm so sore that my cells hurt and snowboarding is one of them. It's like, "Man, I think I bruised my nucleus on that last fall." The only bruises you should have after snowboarding are on your knees, tailbone, and elbows. I, however, have bruises on my knees, tailbone, back of my head, hips, shoulder blades, and calfs (which I don't really understand how I made that happen). They teach you to fall on your elbows and forearms instead of your wrists, but you know what? I don't have time to think about the proper way to tumble down the slope when my board decides to go left and my body says right. One thing I know is that the only other time the bruises on my knees have been this bad was when I slipped on a squished grape in the grocery store while trying to buy wine, and I was glared at like I was an incompetent baby giraffe. (When I picture myself falling, I picture a baby giraffe learning how to walk on its stilt legs because being tall, I also have stilt legs that account for 80% of my height. It's fitting really)

So anyway, I like to snowboard, if that's what you call what I do. And I must admit, after actually taking a class that sort of taught me how to properly snowboard, I can actually say I'm an expert (at the beginner level)

Snowboarding school is supposed to teach you how to board perfectly and then send you on your way to conquer black diamonds, but really it teaches you some tricks and then sends you out on your own to be left hoping that everyone else signed their safety waiver. Or, if you were like the mom in our class, you end up getting to the top of the hill only to slide on your butt, out of control, to the bottom while the instructor looks helplessly on, debating if it's worth chasing after a lost cause or if she should stay with the rest of the freak show she calls her class. She chose us. We all watched the mom clatter to the bottom managing to take out a few snow-making machines on the way. Let's just say her lesson was cut short.

I guess I can't really talk though because Cecylia and I's first snowboarding experience was more than horrendous.

Last year was the first time we snowboarded and we decided to teach ourselves. Bad idea. For some reason, we believed we could manage any movement while having the board strapped to both our feet verses having one free to steer the board. This didn't work because the first time I stood up from the sitting position with the board, I tipped completely over and basically did a face-plant and slid partway down the bunny hill on my stomach. Also, we didn't really practice riding the board before we decided to get on the ski lift, which you are definitely supposed to do. Definitely.

Being older, the lift operator automatically assumes you are skilled enough to ride the lift with a 9 year old snowboarder in training. There are a couple of things wrong with this assumption. First, I am not skilled enough to get off the lift with a tiny person next to me... I will probably plow them over. Second, the 9 year old was teaching me how to sit on the lift properly... there's something wrong with that. And third, did I mention that this is my first time ever on a snowboard. Did you not just see me crawl on my hands and knees through the lift line? Really, the only thing good about having a ski schooler with you is that you can tell the lift operator at the end to slow down the lift for the little kid so they can get off easier (when really it's you who needs them to slow down the lift). Let me tell you, getting off the lift is the most adrenaline-charged exhilarating moment when snowboarding... and in the most unhealthy-for-your-heart-and-health way possible. It's about 3-5 seconds of sheer terror because you are at the mercy of the board.

It didn't matter how slow the lift chair was moving though, I ran into the red fence poles at the end of the lift and wiped out anyways. To make matters worse, we wore these bright pink fluffy hats which would have been cool if we were good. Instead it just drew the wandering eye's attention to just how bad we were. Sometimes that wandering eye was the first-aid ski patrol.

I could bore you with stories about how bad I probably looked going down the slopes, half the time wiping out and the other half praying I didn't wipe out, but I don't want to relive painful, painful memories. This year was much better though. I actually managed to do multiple S-curves down the green level hills. It's a start, okay? This year, I only spent 30% of the time falling, 50% hoping I didn't fall, and 20% actually "shredding the gnar".

But someday I will be Shaun White. Someday I will spend 100% of the time shredding the gnar. Someday