I was sprinting. Like really sprinting. It was the most free
I’d felt in a long time. My eyes were watering from the cool air and the wind was
blowing back my hair. I was flying down the road, but my legs weren’t the least
bit tired. He was right behind me, trying to keep up, but I knew, even though
his breathing was harder than mine, he would always remain right behind me. We
were running together, heading nowhere in particular, but running fast as to
get there as soon as we could.
Back in the parking garage, they had told us that it was
time for him to get in the car and leave, and both of us weren’t ready for that.
An older male adult started to approach us and made a movement to grab the boy,
so we started to run. We ran away from the car, away from the parking garage,
and away from the people telling us it was time to go.
So now there we were… sprinting. We started running down a
hill, and I could see my friend’s green car up ahead, slowly driving with a few
other cars. I was running fast enough that I closed the gap between the car and
I rather quickly. As I approached, I could see the window was rolled down so I
slowed my run to match the cars rolling speed. I waved at my friend as I came
closer to the window. She looked at me and with her usual smile she waved back.
“Haven’t seen him in awhile!” she said, her head gesturing
to the boy behind me.
“I know! But isn’t it great!” I called back, even though I
didn’t really know who he was. All I knew was that he was always right behind
me, wanting to run with me and wanting to follow me wherever we were heading.
I waved goodbye to my friend and cut down a path that led to
a bunch of baseball fields. I called out behind me to the boy, encouraging him
on, but he called back saying he was fine and not tired at all. But I already
knew that. For some reason it just comforted me to know he was still right
behind me. I knew I could look behind me to see if he was still there instead
of just calling out, but I didn’t dare. I didn’t dare look because there was a
thought in the back of my mind. I knew what would happen if I did look behind
me… at the boy… and I couldn’t let that happen… not yet. Not while we were
running and having so much fun feeling free. We entered the first baseball
field and ran through the dugout and across the outfield, passing a few
practicing players who cheered us on. We had to climb a fence and I worried it would
make me tired, but as I pulled my self over it, I was pleasantly surprised that
it didn’t cause my legs to burn with exhaustion.
We both made it over the fence with ease and plopped down in
the neighboring baseball field, but this one was different. There was a game
going on so we ran along the edge of the field. I approached one of the teams
by the dugout and had to stop running in order to weave pass them. But they
wouldn’t let me. Suddenly my legs felt tired and my breathing became heavier. I
could hear the same from the boy behind me. The coach of the team asked me what
I was doing and I told him that we had to run. We had to because it made us
feel free. The coach told me I couldn’t keep running with the boy and that it
was over.
I knew then that we had arrived to where we were going, and
that it was time to do what I had been dreading in the back of my mind. It was
time to turn around. To look at the boy behind me.
So I did.
He was younger than me. Not by much, but still a noticeable
difference. And he had blonde hair, the same color blonde as me. He was
smiling, but it was a sad sort of smile, like the kind you give someone who
tells you, “Everything is going to be alright”. I felt like he was my long lost
brother, and I was laying eyes on him for the first time in years.
“I’m fine! We don’t need to stop. I can do this. I could’ve
kept running with you. I could’ve! I know I could’ve”, he said, his sad smiling
eyes looking into mine.
“I never doubted you could”, I assured him.
Tears started to well up in my eyes. I knew what was coming.
But at this moment, everything was peaceful. Everything was perfect. Almost.
I reached out for him. To hold his hand if only just for a
second. To assure him that I’d always be there for him. But he was already
vanishing and I was waking up from my dream. I was losing him… again. My hand
grasped the air where his hand used to be… and I opened my eyes.
I don’t know who he is. I’ve never seen him before outside
of my dream world. I don’t know why he is always there, but I’m never able to
grab his hand. I’m never even able to look at him for long. I really wish I
could figure out what this means. Why I have reoccurring dreams where I am with
the blonde boy, but can never really
be with him. There are many different scenarios when I am with the boy, but
they always end the same. I find it rather funny how the mind works. How I can
vividly dream about someone I know, but have never met. How my dreams can be
haunted by a blonde.
